The Impact Of Epilepsy

My brother has epilepsy which is a central nervous system disorder in which the brain activity becomes abnormal, causing seizures or periods of unusual behaviour, sensations, and sometimes loss of awareness. I remember my first time seeing Blake having a severe seizure. My parents weren't home and we were with his support worker. I was in grade 4 and at first he was really out of it. Then all of a sudden he dropped to the floor and started shaking rapidly and seizing. I remember the look on his face and the pain it was causing him. He couldn't stop seizing. I had to pick up the phone and call 911, I was mortified seeing my brother in such pain. The ambulance then came and my parents showed up as I saw my brother being rushed out the door into the ambulance. I was so young I remember that night waking up in the middle of the night balling and yelling for my mom and Blake. The next day I went to visit him at the hospital and it still haunts me to this day. Since he can't talk or communicate he didn't know what was going on around him. The nurses were trying to attach him to all these things while he was crying and screaming because he didn't know what was happening. I started balling and was scared for my brother, being young I didn't really understand what was happening. That year he had two more episodes, once was right before school. I didn't really tell anyone what had been going on at home and kept it to myself. I remember at school feeling so sad and worried but had to keep it all in. I wish back then I had the friends I do today that would've helped me get through it. It was a very tough year for my whole family. I always worry those episodes could come back like they did and it still haunts me to this day seeing him for the first time having a severe seizure. You never know when it could happen or have no way of predicting it. For anyone that's had an impact with someone with epilepsy it's very difficult seeing someone you love and care for in that stage and you can't do anything to help them. You feel helpless.